If You Can’t Try It On Adults First, Leave the Kids Alone

It’s true, I just returned from living in Europe for 3 years…so I didn’t “get” the whole co-ed bathroom controversy. Europeans have a much less prudish view of nudity than Americans. It was nothing (in Italy) to realize there was ONE bathroom for a restaurant or usually night club, two stalls….Nothing to come out of your stall and realize you were sharing a sink with a man, or a man was entering the restroom to take the stall you just vacated. If you ever drive down the Autobahn in Germany, it’s normal to see a man standing on the side of the road whipping it out. Go to Munich to the English Gardens…entire sections are open to nude sunbathing. Beaches…nude sunbathing (though I have Yet to see a younger, fairly attractive woman doing this).

And I thought….What’s the big deal? So you have to hear a man pee? Please. Let’s Grow UP, I thought. Everyone pees. You pee, I pee, we all Pee. What is this, third grade? And maybe, I thought, it will make Americans grow up. After all, this is a country where parents actually don’t Want their kids to get sex education! One of the most important, fulfilling, and yes, Dangerous, parts of the human existence and we don’t WANT our kids to know how it works. To me, this is like telling a sixteen year old to take your car keys and drive to the store when they’ve never driven and have no idea how a car even Works.

Then, I was talking to my daughter the other day on the phone and she tells me that All of this bathroom controversy started because a girl in high school in Virginia wanted to use the boys locker room. I looked this up.


This is a young woman sixteen years old who, though born a girl and has All the required girl parts (including breasts) sued the Gloucester school system so he/she can Undress her parts…in front of boys.

Do you remember when we were sixteen? The very idea of a guy even staring at our breasts was horrifying. I had a cousin who lost her bathing suit top at a public pool jumping off the diving board and was so humiliated she ran to the locker room and wouldn’t come out for the rest of the day. Yet, this young teenager wants to dress, undress and shower with a bunch of males in a locker room?

This isn’t using a bathroom stall with a door that you can close and lock! This is full nudity (yourself and Others), in full view of everyone. I was stymied. And why on Earth would the parents want this for their daughter, even if she does identify with the male sex and has body dysmorphia? She’s Not a male yet. She doesn’t have a penis…yet. She still has breasts. And didn’t it occur to the parents that maybe, just maybe, not everyone in the world is as open minded as they are and they were placing their daughter in severe danger of bullies and even rapists who would want to “teach her a lesson” about invading male space and transgender discrimination?

OK, OK, so you’re going to bring up all the rape culture arguments. Please don’t misunderstand me…I AGREE with all of those arguments. I’ve posted about rape culture on my FB as much as any of you. No, No one deserves to Get Raped. No, it’s never the girls fault. Yes, we Should be able to walk down the street buck naked and still be Safe.

But we aren’t SAFE. We haven’t reached that point yet in our society. We’re still fighting the good fight. And we’re not talking about adults here. We’re talking about high school children who, it has been proven, do not have the mental capacity to make sound decisions, whose frontal lobes are not fully developed and who are easily influenced by peers—who may be rapist bullies who’s parents have influenced them to hate transgendered and gays.

To me this is the equivalent of me walking into a known crack house run by violent drug dealers to pass out cupcakes and talk about Jesus while wearing a wire for the cops and telling everyone I’m wearing a wire and I’m going to tattle on them…then actually believing I won’t get shot.

Yes, we Should be Safe. But we aren’t Safe Yet. And there’s a huge distinction in that statement. We are fighting rape culture and bullies….but we haven’t Won Yet. And the truth is, while we’re fighting those very noble and good fights, it’s a poor idea to wave the white flag in front of the rabid bull and scream, “Come and Get Me!”

Was this young person the “start” of all of this. I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe Not. It’s not even the point anymore. 

So then I start hearing on the news that we’ve gone beyond mere bathrooms to locker rooms…and the President of the United States is demanding that schools have co-ed locker rooms. What? Excuse me?

We are being hijacked and blackmailed by madmen!

A bathroom is one thing. I can go into a stall, shut the door and lock it! I can pee (and have) knowing that a man is next to me in the other stall and he is peeing. I can hear him pee. I can walk out of that stall and use the sink next to him and say, “Excusi” and mean it, politely, with a smile, and calmly go back to my friends to have another drink.

What I am NOT going to do is undress and dress and shower with a Man I do Not Know in a locker room of any public facility or gym and be A-OK with this concept. I’m Barely OK with taking off my clothes in front of other women and having Them see me naked. I have enough problems getting dates as it is (haha) and enough body insecurities of my own without knowing a man is raking his eyes up and down my flat, non-existent booty and judging it based on J-Lo’s rumping hump that I will never be able to imitate no matter how many squats I do.

And do Not mistake this. Today, high school locker rooms. Tomorrow…your local gym and yoga studio.

But what is Really disturbing to me are two issues.

First of all, we’re forcing this on our children first. Not adults. Kids. Pre-Teens and Teenagers. People who, as I have just pointed out, have under developed frontal lobes, tend toward aggressive, bullying behavior against anyone not perfect or like them, who are easily influenced by their peers and have a host of insecurities about their ever-changing bodies as it is. My daughter wouldn’t let me see her naked after the age of twelve when she started developing breasts. She’d literally scream at the top of her lungs if I walked in by accident, grab the nearest cover and scream, “MOM! GOD! I’m changing in here!” I would point out I changed her diapers, which would only piss her off more and she’d throw something at me like a pillow or stuffed animal, utterly Horrified I might see her nubs.

And you want to force that on Teenagers around their peers? Peers of the Opposite Sex? Did you lose your MIND?

Second, that our PRESIDENT has gotten involved. That He has actually authorized Letters to be sent out to school districts demanding they comply…or lose Federal Funding.

Now, I haven’t had much against Obama. I didn’t vote for him but I wasn’t completely against everything he did in his tenure as President…nor did I hate him with the rabid, overwhelming loathing of some. In fact, with our current political choices, I was feeling sort of benign toward him. People thought HE was bad…now look at what you’ve got to chose from? Hahahaha…Doesn’t look so bad now, does he?

Then he did This.

He overstepped his Presidential authority so far outside of the bounds of the Constitution in this matter it defies reason and sanity, and then threatened our public schools with defunding that would only hurt the poorest and most disenfranchised of our population by denying them free school lunches, computers and books.

Think about that. Our President wants your twelve year old to shower with his/her twelve year old crush or he’s going to stop poor children from having food during the school day.

Children today are already under enormous stress with forced testing every few weeks; they face stresses we never did as kids….more powerful drugs, terrorism, rampant divorce, long, on-going Wars, broken homes, internet bullies, rape culture, child predators, political correctness, dress codes and enough information pounding at them daily through social media and cell phones to make a large computer explode. Now you want to add this stress on to their already overloaded minds and hearts?

Your child is going to come home emotionally scarred for Life and require years of therapy…which I sincerely hope your ObamaCare pays for.

Yet, you’re not allowed to mention the word penis to the same child in sex-ed class without the parents permission.

What the hell is going on here!?

We’re a society run amok being held hostage by a very, very small segment of the population who is jumping up and down screaming that if we don’t comply to their insane demands they’re going to… sue us and call us bad names. And we’re giving in to this!

And the people we THINK They’re trying to Help don’t even WANT This!!

You heard me right.

I was talking to my friend -O- the other day. O is very gay, very proud and very open about his homosexuality, along with his gay partner. I’m a firm believer in gay rights. I will march in Gay Pride as a straight supporter any day of the week (as long as it’s not raining! Kidding -O- lol).

During this conversation he pointed out something No One else has even bothered to consider.

Most of the Transsexual community Doesn’t Want This!

You read that right. The majority of the Transgender and Transsexual community doesn’t want all of this publicity. They want to go about their lives, quietly. They want to Blend In. They want to Look, Act and Be the Sex they identify with and they don’t want anyone peeking in bathrooms wondering if they’re male or female.

And all of this publicity (thrust on them by an even smaller segment of the population and some in the Gay Rights community) is Not to their taste at all! They’re upset about it. Frankly, as horrified as a twelve year old boy being forced to undress in front of his crush in a locker room. Floored.

No one bothered to ask Them if they wanted to share a bathroom. They already were sharing the bathroom and none of us noticed it! Oh, but we’ll notice now. We’ve got the steely eyed suspicion and we’re scoping every single person going in and out of a Target Restroom.


Personally, I still don’t have a problem with using a co-ed bathroom. I still don’t see the main issue with that as long as properly closed stall doors are utilized. But I’m an adult who has lived abroad and become accustomed to the practice. It’s part of a culture I embraced joyfully for the access to incredibly cheap and delicious wine and gorgeous scenery.

My kids, and your Kids, have not embraced this.

If you want to do a social experiment, start with Adults. Lets see how it goes if the local gym suddenly has co-ed locker rooms. Lets see how it goes if all bars and nightclubs suddenly have co-ed bathrooms. Lets see how Adults handle all of this before we start forcing our pre-teens and teens into the embarrassment of undressing in front of dozens of classmates of all sexes and sexual orientations. IF the adults can handle it, then maybe we could ease the kids into it. Slowly. Over time.

What we cannot do is give into the blackmail of a small segment of our country who are trying desperately to force America into a mold we simply do not fit yet and aren’t ready to embrace. And we cannot allow our President to overstep his Executive powers to the point of forcing us into changes by threatening blackmail against our poorest and neediest children.


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